Five Love Languages Children
Time With Children is Precious ( Effective Parenting for Brisbane Families )
To feel loved, safe, and secure is fundamental to everyone, regardless of age. That is why we must ensure that we make time in our busy days to provide a special moment for each of our children and for ourselves.
“You don’t know how I feel and you don’t care”, “Leave me alone”, “Get out of my space”, “I don’t need you”.
If you have ever heard these kinds of comments from your children then perhaps it’s time to stand back and look at what is happening between you and your family.
How do we address everyone’s needs, including our own? How do we deal with the specific needs of our children without sacrificing our own sanity?
Who or what comes first? Your career? Your family? Your partner? Your health?
Step one is to admit that we are not guilty of a crime by acknowledging that we are not perfect.
So the house is not picture perfect. All the washing and ironing isn’t done! Does that matter more than whether you have spent time to have a hug? Spent time to check homework is being done? Spent time to find out if there is a special event coming up one you should attend? It’s all about priorities.
You don’t necessarily have to put them in a definitive order. All can be balanced if you have the right attitude and perhaps a little professional help.
Have you ever asked your children what they expect of you? Ever told them what you expect of them? Do you even know what your expectations are? An assessment of the way each family member treats the others might create a more harmonious household.
Be honest with yourself, your partner and your children. Admit your own shortcomings without denigrating yourself.
The need to know what is expected of them is important for all children. Depending on the age of the child, expectations should be clearly outlined in language that is positive. Give them the kinds of parameters that say, “you can do ‘this’ but ‘that’ is not acceptable.”
Many times teenagers have told me, “My parents let me do what I want. They don’t care.” The child interprets this permissive attitude as, “If they don’t care, they don’t love me enough.”
Most parents do love their children but may not know how to show it in a way that the child understands.
Children of all ages need some time when they can have their parents’ undivided attention. For busy people it could mean scheduling family time into your diary. It also means scheduling time for each child individually and sticking to it. Quite simply, you must make time for your family they need you now.
Families need to spend meaningful time together. This does not mean just being in the same vicinity, but it does mean doing simple things like cooking the family meal together, or going to places that create opportunities to interact in such a way that honest communication can occur.
These should be the times when children feel relaxed and free to express themselves without interruption and be listened to. Time in front of the TV or going to a movie does not provide these opportunities.
When children feel that they have to vie for their parents’ attention, the results are often disastrous. The undivided attention of a parent is important to a child but not always a top priority for a busy parent.
The intention of the schedules and reminder notes is not to ‘force’ the family into routine that suits you. It is, rather, an attempt to establish patterns of behaviour (yours and your children’s) that benefit the whole family and to create a peaceful atmosphere where everyone feels loved and valued.
Here are some tips that may help to show your children that you really do care about them:
Take time to listen to your children without interruption. For little ones, get down to their level, perhaps kneel or sit with them. They will appreciate your undivided attention.
Ask your children how they would like to spend time with you. Be prepared to participate in what is important to them even if it is an activity that you would not choose yourself.
Observe your children do they respond to a hug; a quick back rub; cooking in the kitchen with you; a small, thoughtful, inexpensive gift; or genuine encouragement and praise? What do they enjoy and respond to most?
Take the time to read to your children
Care enough to say ‘no’- unreasonable requests and behaviour are not acceptable. Children and teenagers should be aware of consequences for unacceptable behaviour.
Take every opportunity to do things with your children rather than being an observer from the side lines
Plan special occasions. When planning a family event ask your children for their input. Give them plenty of choice and notice. Forcing them to attend a family event or an event they are not interested in is not a good start.
Children and teenagers should be part of family gatherings. These gatherings help provide them a sense of belonging, responsibility and acceptance, and tolerance for others.
Be consistent and fair – try to cater for everyone’s needs, including your own. What does not happen for one child this week may be planned for the following week.
Put aside time plan it and make it a regular part of your family routine
Consider regular family meetings. These are a good time to discover what is, and what is not, working in your family. Prepare guidelines for these meetings in advance.
About the Author
Renewal Life Solutions specialises in parent effectiveness training
Brisbane and
effective parenting for Brisbane families. For more information and guidance for raising children in the Brisbane area, contact Coby Edmunds at Renewal Life Solutions today.
Filed under Uncategorized by on Feb 14th, 2011. Comment. 
German Language Children Books
The Road To A Perfect International Language
by Philip Yaffe
Some time ago, a friend and I decided to try to establish guidelines for building a “perfect language” that ultimately could be adopted as the world’s common language. We did not intend to create such a language. We just wanted to lay down standards against which any candidates for this high office (living, dead or artificial) could be objectively judged.
Our primary criterion was that it should be easy to learn.
We started from what we called the Facility Principle: What you don’t have to do is always easier than what you do have to do. We wanted to find out what is really basic to language, i.e. what elements are fundamental, what felements are secondary, and what elements are entirely unnecessary. This we would use to judge how close existing languages came, or how to create an artificial language that virtually everyone could rapidly learn and use.
Our method was to identify what elements could be removed without fundamentally damaging a language’s capacity to communicate. To ensure that we would not “over-intellectualize”, we decided to test our ideas by finding at least one language, living or dead, that did not possess the element we thought could be safely deleted. If we found such a language, we would know that this feature truly wasn’t absolutely essential. Between the two us, we were fluent in or had working knowledge of Dutch, English, French, German, Italian, Spanish and Swahili, so these were our reference points.
We started with irregularities. Few people would argue that irregular verbs are fundamentally necessary in order to communicate, so our perfect language should have no irregular verbs. Does such a language exist? Yes, Swahili has no irregular verbs. If you can conjugate one verb in that language, you can conjugate them all, and in all tenses.
We also looked at irregular spellings. Clearly, a phonetically spelled language would be easier to learn than a non-phonetic one. Just consider all the endless hours French-speaking school children spend with their “dictées” and English-speaking children spend with their “spelling bees”. Although they are disguised as games and competitions, their real purpose is to help children master the thoroughly chaotic misuse of the alphabet in their native tongues.
Does a phonetic language in fact exist? German comes very close, and so do Italian and Spanish. Swahili, however, is fully phonetic. If you can say a word in that language, you can spell it, and if you can read it, you can say it.
We also immediately dismissed noun genders; English lives without them very nicely. What about pronouns? They too are not fundamental; in Italian and Spanish they are hardly ever used.
We even discovered languages that make no distinction between singular and plural. At first, we had difficulty accepting this because singulars and plurals just seemed to be so basic. However, eliminating them makes perfect sense.
Why should a language constantly distinguish between one of a thing and two to infinity? To say “I see a dog” clearly means that I see only one of them. But to say “I see dogs” is undefined. It could be two, ten, twenty, a hundred, a thousand, a million, etc. Some languages define “singular” not as one, but one, two or three. “Plural” then means anything from four to infinity.
By establishing this set of considerations, did we create an ideal blueprint for producing a clear, concise, easy-to-learn universal language? Actually no. We thought we did; however, it turns out that the Facility Principle has a fatal flaw.
When we consulted a linguist during our investigations, he pointed out that it may be possible to eliminate a grammatical feature in a language only because it contains another feature that compensates. But this would not be true of all languages. Thus, eliminating something from Language A because it adds nothing to communication could be crucially important in Language B, where its absence would damage communication.
We were not discouraged, but we decided to change direction. Despite the flaw of the Facility Principle, we still felt that irregular spellings had little to recommend them. However, since we could not necessarily eliminate them based solely on the Facility Principle, we looked around for another principle that would allow us to exclude them. This we called the “Comprehension Principle”.
The Comprehension Principle states: What is not important for communication in the spoken language should be even less important in the written language.
This is only common sense. When we are in a conversation, we must understand what the other person is saying instantaneously, and vice versa. We cannot stop every couple of seconds to have something repeated to be certain that we have correctly grasped its meaning. If we did, conversation would be impossible.
When we read, if we have a problem understanding something, we can always look at it again and study it, which is not the case when we speak. It therefore seems logical that the written language should be simpler and more straightforward than the spoken language.
In English, French and some other languages, it is just the opposite. The written language is very much more complex than the spoken language. According to the Comprehension Principle, all of the things in the written language that are not in the spoken language are not necessary for communication. Therefore, they can be considered merely decorative and expendable.
This brings us back to phonetic spelling.
If a word is not written the way it is pronounced, what purpose does it serve? Very little; in fact it is counterproductive. As argued by no less an authority than Voltaire (1771): “Writing is the portrait of the voice; the more they resemble each other, the better (L’ecriture est la peinture de la voix; plus elle est resemblante, mieux elle est.)”
Nevertheless, it is amazing how ferociously some people will defend chaotic spellings. One of the principal arguments is that current spelling is a “conveyor belt of culture”. Thus, we spell “pharmacy” with “ph” to remind us that the word is derived from Greek, and we spell “farmer” with an “f” to remind us that this word isn’t. But why should the way we write a word reflect its origin? Language is for communication; it should avoid useless complications such as non-phonetic spelling. “Phonetic” itself should be spelled with an “f” as it is in Dutch, Italian and Spanish. Its Greek origin is of interest mainly to linguists but it shouldn’t be imposed on the rest of us.
When the written language loses touch with the spoken language, it also loses touch with reality. Even the august Academie Française now permits elimination of the “accent circumflex” (the little hat) in many words where it serves only to remind us that in Old French there used to be an “s” in the word which is no longer there. It is also introducing numerous other reforms to make the language more consistent and less of a barrier to clear communication.
One article I read opposing spelling reform in English concluded with the startling statement: “Spelling is beautiful. Believe it”.
Spelling is not beautiful; it is a tool. As with any tool, loading it with useless complications can only reduce its effectiveness, not enhance it. In writing, the only thing that is beautiful is a well-structured, well-crafted text. Judging writing by how well the author masters chaotic spelling is like judging a painting by how well the artist works with defective brushes.
If the language-proud French can reform their spelling, surely we English-speakers can do likewise. And the sooner, the better.
Philip Yaffe is a former reporter/feature writer with The Wall Street Journal and a marketing communication consultant. He currently teaches a course in good writing and good speaking in Brussels, Belgium. His recently published book In the “I” of the Storm: the Simple Secrets of Writing & Speaking (Almost) like a Professional is available from Story Publishers in Ghent, Belgium (storypublishers.be) and Amazon (amazon.com).
For further information, contact:
Philip Yaffe
Brussels, Belgium
Tel: +32 (0)2 660 0405
Email: phil.yaffe@yahoo.com,phil.yaffe@gmail.com
About the Author
Philip Yaffe is a former writer with The Wall Street Journal and international marketing communication consultant. Now semi-retired, he teaches courses in persuasive communication in Brussels, Belgium. Because his clients use English as a second or third language, his approach to writing and public speaking is somewhat different from other communication coaches. He is the author of In the “I” of the Storm: the Simple Secrets of Writing & Speaking (Almost) like a Professional. Contact: phil.yaffe@yahoo.com.
Filed under Uncategorized by on Feb 3rd, 2011. Comment.
Italian Language Children Books
Do You Need to Learn To Speak Italian Fast?
If you desire to learn Italian, there are a variety of implements that can be useful. Italian is more than just a pleasing language it is also simpler for native English speakers to comprehend than several other languages. This is due to the fact that there is a small amount of irregular verbs and its generally phonetic, meaning words sound similar to the way they are spelled. The following are some helpful tips to help you learn Italian quickly.
A lot of internet software programs exists to help you learn Italian. Numerous people think that these software programs are very easy to use because they use both classroom teaching and audio programs. Anyone with a laptop or desktop computer can download one of these programs, or pop in a DVD and begin learning Italian. Usually there are exercises that you can work with as well as visual cues to help you learn Italian words and phrases. You can shop around for some various language software programs and read a few customer reviews to determine which one is right for you. This can be a very wonderful way to learn Italian and you can even do it to work around your schedule.
Even if you are not able to go to Italy, you visit area where it is spoken so that it is easier for you to learn it. There are plenty of neighborhoods in the United States and Europe where immigrants that speak Italian live and if you go to these areas you will be exposed to the language and can practice speaking it more. You can find places such as shops, restaurants that are owned by Italians and you can also find Italian newspapers and magazines. Just being exposed to Italians on a daily basis will help you so if you live near Italian neighborhoods you should visit as much as possible.
As you become more familiar with Italian, you will want to speak it better, but you should also get into the habit of reading it too. There are a few ways to handle this, which would include looking at newspapers, books and websites that are created in Italian.
Children’s books and comic books can be used to learn from because they will have easier words than adult books. If you are familiar with Italian poetry, you can study the words and not look at the translations for help. These are fun ways that you can use to acquire reading skills.
In general, if you put your mind to it, you can learn Italian.
It is a language that numerous people find pleasant to speak and it is also one of the easiest ones to learn. Yet learning any language takes quite a bit of work, and if you hope to make progress, you’ll have to practice every day. Utilizing some of the suggestions from this article will help you find the right learning method for you.
About the Author
Cheap sewing machines
,
baby quilt books
and many more free quilt patterns. Please stop by for a visit!
Filed under Uncategorized by on Jan 4th, 2011. Comment.
Children Learning Reading
It is true that parents will need to spend a lot of money on learning toys for kids every year until they are at least 12 years old. This is because at different ages, there are specific types of educational toys that are best suited for kids. The consolation is that you can keep these for their young siblings or pass them to friends and family. this also means you can ask for toys that have been outgrown by other older kids.
So which are the best type of educational toys for kids? In fact, most early development toys for toddlers are now designed specifically to target a particular aspect of learning, whether its visual and audio stimulation for babies, sound and music, words and numbers, motoring skills, physical health etc. That is why it is always good to surround growing kids with different varieties of toys and games that will stimulate their minds and interest.
For example, many parents will buy the basic shape and block toys for 6 to 12 month old toddlers. These are very good for them to learn how to control their hands and fingers. As they learn to match and sort these block toys according to shape, size or colors, they develop important cognitive skills as well as hand eye coordination. These baby learning toys may seem to simple but they serve a very important purpose as new born babies start to explore the surrounding and their own bodies. If baby’s first set of toys are too complex, they may be turned off and refuse to play with it.
The next level up in terms of difficult for learning games for young toddlers will be the simple puzzle games. These help to cultivate patience and focus in toddlers as they take some time and thinking. On the other hand, they must be brightly colored and interesting enough to appeal to babies or they will easily lose interest. Try to provide hints on the game play when you notice your kid seem lost about what to do with the puzzle games.
It is important to gradually increase the complexity of the learning toys given to growing toddlers. It must be challenging enough to intrigue them but not so difficult that they feel frustrated not knowing what to do or how to play. Parents who are concerned in fully developing their children’s potential should pay close attention to the skill level of their kids and find toys that provide a similar level of difficulty.
Visit http://learningtoysonsale.com for the best learning to read toys for kids under 3 years old. We recommend parents to buy the Leapfrog Tag Junior Book Pal on sale for less than $30 to get children to become interested in reading interactive books.
Filed under Uncategorized by on Dec 5th, 2010. Comment.